How would you like to be chased across a field by a pack of dogs?
People always ask this question as if they have just scored some unbeatable point [for of course they know that I would not like it at all].
They are usually rather surprised, therefore, when I am quite willing to answer the question, but tell them that I need a bit more info first.
How would you like to be chased across a field by a pack of dogs as opposed to what?
How would you like to be chased across a field by a pack of dogs as opposed to dying in bed at the age of 97 in the arms of your 23-year old Swedish au pair?
No thanks; I don't think I’ll bother.
How would you like to be chased across a field by a pack of dogs as opposed to being shot, gassed or snared?
Well then, that is a different matter all together, and needs much more consideration.
Ok, I’ve considered it. I would take the dogs. Surprised?
This’ll surprise you even more – so would you!
don't believe me, huh? Ok, let’s look at it somewhat differently :
Just imagine for a moment that I am a bloodthirsty, homicidal maniac (some of you might not have too much problem with this bit) and that, in order to stop you from doing what I don't want you to do, I have decided that I am going to kill you.
But, because I am a mad bloodthirsty, homicidal maniac, I am going to give you a choice.
Either :
I shoot you out of hand, in cold blood, with this here gun wot I am holding
Or :
I give you the chance, in your own neighbourhood, to outwit this pack of dogs, which are :
Which do you choose?
Ok, now judging by experience, you are probably muttering something along the lines of how at least the Gun would be quicker, and the dogs would be frightening and painful, and suchlike, and generally ending up at the wrong answer.
(and when I say "wrong", I don't mean the one that I don't want you to pick, I mean the one that you would not pick) (Arrogant, huh?)
Ok, let me make it easier for you :
On the one hand : the Gun.
On the other hand : the Dogs.
Or :
On the one hand : Certain Death
On the other hand : Chance of Life
(I’ll make it easier still : with the dogs, your chances are better than 50:50)
Get the idea, now?
If you were actually in that position, unless you are suicidally inclined (in which case, you are insane and not entitled to vote anyway), you would choose the Chance of Life.
You would choose the Chance of Life; I would choose the Chance of Life; the man on the Clapham omnibus would choose the Chance of Life; Tony Blair would choose the Chance of Life; even Ken Livingston would choose the Chance of Life.
The Fox would choose the Chance of Life.
We all would – every time. It is the basic survival instinct.
Now, the fox is not in a position to make that choice, but you are in a position to make it for him.
Why would you make a different choice on behalf of the fox, than you would make for yourself?